Everything You Need to Know About Home Equity Loans

Okay, home equity loans. There, I said it in the very first sentence like a good little SEO robot, but also because I literally can’t stop thinking about them since I took one out last year and I’m still sweating. https://www.rocketmortgage.com/learn/home-equity-loan

I’m sitting here in my kitchen in Columbus, Ohio, it’s 7:12 a.m., raining sideways, and my dog just farted so bad I had to open the window even though it’s 38 degrees. Perfect vibe for talking about borrowing against the roof over your head, right?

How I Accidentally Became a Home Equity Loan Expert (Read: Idiot)

So 2023 was a trash fire. My furnace died the same week my car threw a rod and my kid needed braces. Classic American nightmare bingo. I’m on Zillow one night at 2 a.m. — because that’s when all great financial decisions are made — and I see my house is suddenly worth, like, 80 grand more than I paid for it. My drunk brain went: “Free money!!!”

Spoiler: it’s not free. It’s your house. They can TAKE your house. But I was desperate and the interest rate on home equity loans was stupid low back then (like 6.5% fixed, which now feels like a fever dream).

Home Equity Loans vs HELOCs: The Fight I Had With My Banker

Look, I thought a HELOC was just a fancy home equity loan. Wrong. So wrong.

• Home equity loan = lump sum, fixed rate, you pay it back like a regular loan
• HELOC = creepy credit card attached to your house, variable rate, draw as you need

I went with the fixed home equity loan because variable rates give me hives. My banker literally laughed at me for being scared of prime rate changes. Whatever, Karen, I sleep at night. https://www.zillow.com/learn/home-equity-calculator/

The Most Embarrassing Part of My Home Equity Loan Story

They make you get an appraisal. Some dude walked through my house judging my life choices for 45 minutes. I had to hide the laundry mountain and the fact that my “home office” is literally a card table covered in Amazon boxes. He valued the house $42,000 higher than Zillow (suck it, algorithm), but I still felt violated.

Then closing. I signed my life away in a strip-mall title company next to a vape shop. The notary asked if I wanted a pen or if I “had my own.” Who brings their own pen to sell their soul??

What Nobody Tells You About Home Equity Loan Rates in 2025

Rates are brutal right now. I’m seeing 8.5–10% for decent credit. Mine locked at 6.79% and I still brag about it like I’m some kind of genius. If you’re reading this in November 2025 and rates are suddenly 4%, I will actually cry.

The Projects I Used My Home Equity Loan For (And Regret Rankings)

1. New HVAC – 0/10 regret, house no longer sounds like a dying walrus
2. Kitchen remodel – 4/10 regret, went $8k over budget because I “needed” the $400 faucet
3. Paid off credit cards – 10/10 would do again, sleeping without panic attacks is elite
4. That one weekend I paid for my best friend’s bachelorette in Nashville – 8/10 regret, but the memories (and matching cowboy hats) are forever

Red Flags I Ignored When Shopping Home Equity Loans

• Lender said “no closing costs” but then rolled them into the loan (sneaky bastards)
• One guy asked for my Social Security number over email. Hard pass.
• Any place that advertises on late-night TV with a guy yelling. Run.

Should You Get a Home Equity Loan Right Now? My Hot Mess Opinion

Honestly? Only if you’re not an idiot like me and actually have a plan. Like, a real plan. Not “I’ll figure it out later” energy.

If your roof is literally caving in or you’ve got 18% credit card debt, yeah, home equity loans can be a lifeline. But if you’re just bored and want a pool? Chill. Rent a lake house for a week and call it a day.

I’m still paying mine. $892 a month for the next 9 years. Sometimes I stare at my kitchen island (that I “had to have”) and whisper “worth it?” and the island doesn’t answer because it’s an island.

Anyway. That’s my chaotic, way-too-honest take on home equity loans from someone who’s living it. If you’re thinking about one, DM me on X or whatever, I’ll send you the Google Doc of lenders who didn’t make me want to scream.

Just… maybe finish your coffee first. And don’t borrow more than you can pay back unless you enjoy anxiety poops at 3 a.m. Ask me how I know.