Okay, student loans. There, I said it in the very first sentence so the SEO gods don’t smite me.
I’m writing this from my extremely glamorous studio apartment in Jersey City, November 2025, eating cold leftover pizza because my Venmo balance is $6.47 and my loan payment is due in four days. The radiator is clanking like it’s personally offended by my life choices. Anyway.
How I Accidentally Became a Student Loans Expert (Spoiler: I Had No Choice)
Back in 2013 I was 17, thought I was hot shit because I got into a “prestigious” liberal-arts school in the Northeast, and signed whatever the financial aid office slid across the table. Like, literally did not read a single page. I remember the exact moment—sitting in this fluorescent-lit room that smelled like burnt coffee and desperation, clicking “accept” on $42k/year like I was ordering Dominos. My mom kept asking, “Are you sure this is okay?” and I was like “yeah mom it’s fiiiine, it’s an investment in my future.”
Reader, it was not fine.
Fast-forward to 2020 and I’m crying in a Target parking lot because my grace period ended and the first bill hit. $1,087 a month. I was making $38k before taxes working remote for a startup that sold CBD toothpaste. The math was… not mathing.
The Actual Types of Student Loans (Because Apparently There’s More Than One Flavor of Hell)
Here’s the breakdown nobody gave me at 18:
- Federal loans – These are the “nice” ones (lol). Subsidized, unsubsidized, PLUS loans for parents (sorry mom). Fixed interest rates, income-driven repayment plans, potential forgiveness if you work certain jobs. Still soul-crushing, but like… the government version of soul-crushing.
- Private loans – These are from banks and they will hunt you like Liam Neeson. Variable rates that can climb to 14%, no forgiveness ever, and they’ll garnish your wages without even buying you dinner first. I have both kinds because I’m a collector now, apparently.
Pro tip I wish someone tattooed on my forehead: Fill out the FAFSA every single year even if you think you make too much. Seriously. Do it drunk at 2 a.m. if you have to. Just do it. Here’s the actual link, don’t be me.
My Biggest Student Loans Regrets (So You Don’t Copy My Homework)
- Going to a school that cost $65k/year when my state school was literally 15 minutes from my house
- Not understanding that “unsubsidized” means interest starts the day they cut the check (I owe more now than I originally borrowed—cool cool cool)
- Refinancing federal loans into private ones in 2021 chasing a lower rate and then watching forgiveness programs pop up (I still wake up in a cold sweat about this)
- Thinking “I’ll figure it out later” for four straight years
What I’m Doing Now That Actually Helps (2025 Edition)
Okay, redemption arc time:
- Switched to SAVE plan – payment went from $1,087 to $312. Still hurts but I can buy groceries now.
- Side hustling like a maniac – freelance writing, Rover dog walking, selling feet pics (jk… unless?). Every extra dollar goes to the highest-interest loan first.
- Autopay + rate discount – shaves off 0.25%. It’s literally $40/month but I will take any win.
- Therapy – not financial advice but highly recommend when your loan balance makes you want to yeet yourself into the Hudson.
Should You Even Take Out Student Loans in 2025?
Honestly? Depends on the degree and the cost. I wouldn’t do what I did again. Community college → state school transfer path is criminally underrated. Trades are sleeping giants. Coding bootcamps can be legit if you pick the right one. But also… some careers literally require the piece of paper. It’s a gamble and the house always wins, but sometimes you gotta roll the dice.
Look, I’m not gonna end this with some corny “education is priceless” bullshit. Education is extremely priced and the receipt still makes me throw up a little. But I’m here, I’m paying, I’m surviving, and somehow still have hope? That’s gotta count for something.
If you’re staring at acceptance letters right now, DM me on whatever platform we’re using in 2025. I’ll send you my actual spreadsheets. We’ll cry together. You don’t have to figure this out alone.
(And if anyone from the Department of Education is reading this… SAVE plan forever, please and thank you.)
